Well, as a former Catho-holic I have to make some comment about this. I suspected this was coming, partly because I have the sense that the reactionaries are going into pre-bottom mode. They are losing their grip, and they are attempting to force things back to a place where they can keep control of stuff. "Conservative" seems to have become a synonym for "arrogant" of late, whether neo-, paleo- or whatever version.
I can guess a few things about the immediate future. These people have determined to make those who disagree with them the objects of scorn. They have chosen the path of separation from others, separation from themselves, separation from the Divine Source of All That Is. These are people who steadfastly refuse to awaken to the acceptance that God wants Nothing from us. Absolutely nothing! These are people who, having been denied love and nurturance at some key point in their lives, and who have kept themselves in that delusional place and labeled it "holy", have turned things around to tell everyone else how to love and how to be thus and so. They are pretty much telling the ocean "Stop being wet, you mother of us all!" and they've got problems with that dirt problem that is so Mother Earth.
In my spiritual understanding, I see that I have a huge opportunity to practice forgiveness. My friend Michael believes that something can be salvaged from the structure of the Church, but as a former R.C., I can say pretty much that to change the structure would be to kill it. The Catholic Church since Constantine has been pretty much a rogues' gallery, and the hierarchy is itself the problem. (Catholic church without a hierarchy? That's like a chicken with no skeleton!) You focus on the problem, you say bye-bye to the whole thing. Which is pretty much what I have done.
I don't look forward to when I talk to my Mother about this. She thought J2P2 was a holy man, and I would agree with that, insofar as to say that he, you, my mother, my father, everyone I know, everyone I don't know are holy people. He did quite a bit of damage in my life, I can tell you. Since he (and the latest Pope-ourri) hand-selected most of the curia, that damage is going to continue, though I suspect there will be quite a few defections. Only the most insane of people will be staying in the pews and they can have it.
Do I feel sad or angry about this? I felt a queasy sensation in my stomach, only because I sense that there will be rationalized hatred and bloodshed as a result of this gaffe. These old things are meant to blow away in the breeze, I feel. The Churches, the Banks, the Governments, the Corporations. None of them are real. Not as real as the gentle interactions we have with one another. They are to be forgiven, though I don't feel ready as yet to do so. That will probably change over time. Maybe I'll get some clarity on this Medicine Walk I'm taking on Sunday. I'll be decoding whatever happens up near the Canadian border.
In the meantime, I feel the need to start working on whatever is the next right action. What, Dian-y-Glas, would that be, I wonder....
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Medicine Walk
I'm going away again! Seems only a week ago that I was at Winter Witch Camp, but now I'm going upstate to do a Medicine Walk, which is a modified form of a Vision Quest. I'll be eating less for 3 days, then fasting on day #4 for 24 hours. (Means I skip just two meals--dinner Saturday to dinner Sunday.) I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also a bit apprehensive. I've never done anything like this before, I don't know what to expect. It may not sound like much--I'm going to stay in a motel for those days, and even on day #4, when I plan to rise before dawn and get to the State Park near sun-up, I'm going to pack it in when the sun starts to go down. I'm curious what sorts of things may come to me up there on the St. Lawrence River. Should be interesting, whatever happens.
Monday, April 11, 2005
The Mind and the Heart
I really do think that mainstream religion, with a few notable exceptions, does screw people up. I sat with a friend today who suffers and understands partially the nature of his suffering, but not the part of it that makes it worse. I heard someone say something really profound, which is that it's the desire to be good that makes one make so many mistakes. The desire to get the brownie points with . . . . who exactly?
I must give thanks for my parents' unceremonious disabusing me of the notion of "religious tolerance." It's really rather an oxymoron. Think of it this way: Churches are really religious corporations. They have absentee owners, central banks, the franchises are run and different manager-types jockey for favor ultimately with the Central Office as represented through National and Regional Centers of influence. So. In keeping with the corporate theme, is there such a thing as "Corporate tolerance?" Does Coke "tolerate" Pepsi? No. Coke would really rather see Pepsi obliterated from the face of the earth. And vice versa. The companies only tolerate each other the way that two hungry wolves tolerate each other when there's an elk carcass in the middle of a clearing.
While there are people of faith across the various "sectual preferences" who put aside their dogmas in favor of the language of the heart and follow a deep ecumenicism, for the most part the people who cry the loudest about "religious tolerance" are the people for whom religious tolerance means "convert to my religion or die, and if you complain about my vampiric behavior, I'll scream about you being an anti-religious bigot." (O Driest Alcoholism! thy name is James Dobson!)
That being said, I listened to my friend discuss the nature of his spirituality and I felt pained for him. He grappled with the language of the Heart, which I think most spiritual people do actually long for, wish to put into the speech of their eloquent actions. Yet, he was in this place of separation that so many orthodox-tending (read: fear-based) people repeat by rote, that I did wince inside even as he spoke about what he honestly believed, what he honestly hoped for. As I write this paragraph, I remember my own highs from being in that religious superiority zone-out. I was of the glazed eyes myself, and I could be again tomorrow. I feel blessed to be trying out a tradition of Earth-Based Religion that emphasizes my own spiritual authority to question, question, question and to hold my own in negotiating with anyone, deities included.
It's tough to be right-sized, so tempting to allow myself to inflate into a puffed-up ego, or to slack off into deflation as well. I have compassion for my friend and I affirm that he is where he is and that he has lessons for me and for others, though he probably has no earthly idea of the lessons he has for me. At one point he shared this judgmental idea about "this world" vs. the spiritual, and I had to offer a different way of looking at it, that it was "the Mind" rather than "this world." The Mind, or really rather Ego is what creates a lot of the ugliness around us. When you say "this world," you're lumping a lot of valuable stuff into it that perhaps you wouldn't want to throw out. (Also, the spiritual needs to incorporate the soulful, but I didn't say this at the time. I was heading toward my bedtime as I conferred with my friend. I wish I had the thought to say that it's not either-or but both-and, and also that the mind is about separation but the heart is about integration and unity, nonduality. But that will have to wait.) Do you really want to throw out this beautiful spring day we're having? Isn't there a spiritual value in living with the weather, even during a hurricane? In the world of the Ego, however, all seems to revolve around one's not being right-sized--it thinks it can tell the ocean to stop being wet and it thinks it's the sole reason the world is such an awful place. Which in an odd way is true because the ego has a habit of selective focus where reality is concerned.
The Ego/Mind does have a place. It's just not at the center of all things. The Heart is at the heart for a reason, after all. It's centrally located in our bodies and it is the source of all that we value and cherish. The Ego/Mind needs to support and feed the Heart's desires. The aspect that is "The Brave Soldier" needs to be honored and given new work rather than defending ourselves against illusory attackers. When faced with a real attack, it can catapult into action if it's necessary. Which it turns out isn't as often as we would think. The brave soldier needs to work for the Heart's Desires. This world is only a vale of tears if we choose to hold onto this reality as the be-all and end-all. And it passes by so quickly, it seems. It only makes sense to be in the Sacred Heart, the Black Heart of Innocence.
Don't pick up my addictions, stay connected, help others. That's what it all comes down to. Simple, but oh what a challenge. I even forget to add that into my prayers each day, this from which all goodness flows. It's so much easier to focus on the juridicidal maniacs, the homophobic wannabe-butchers out there. But I get to shine my Excalibur of Light on them and seek out the Divine Children within these confused and woozy folk. Guess it's what I signed up for, though I don't have any idea how it's going to happen.
More to be revealed.
I must give thanks for my parents' unceremonious disabusing me of the notion of "religious tolerance." It's really rather an oxymoron. Think of it this way: Churches are really religious corporations. They have absentee owners, central banks, the franchises are run and different manager-types jockey for favor ultimately with the Central Office as represented through National and Regional Centers of influence. So. In keeping with the corporate theme, is there such a thing as "Corporate tolerance?" Does Coke "tolerate" Pepsi? No. Coke would really rather see Pepsi obliterated from the face of the earth. And vice versa. The companies only tolerate each other the way that two hungry wolves tolerate each other when there's an elk carcass in the middle of a clearing.
While there are people of faith across the various "sectual preferences" who put aside their dogmas in favor of the language of the heart and follow a deep ecumenicism, for the most part the people who cry the loudest about "religious tolerance" are the people for whom religious tolerance means "convert to my religion or die, and if you complain about my vampiric behavior, I'll scream about you being an anti-religious bigot." (O Driest Alcoholism! thy name is James Dobson!)
That being said, I listened to my friend discuss the nature of his spirituality and I felt pained for him. He grappled with the language of the Heart, which I think most spiritual people do actually long for, wish to put into the speech of their eloquent actions. Yet, he was in this place of separation that so many orthodox-tending (read: fear-based) people repeat by rote, that I did wince inside even as he spoke about what he honestly believed, what he honestly hoped for. As I write this paragraph, I remember my own highs from being in that religious superiority zone-out. I was of the glazed eyes myself, and I could be again tomorrow. I feel blessed to be trying out a tradition of Earth-Based Religion that emphasizes my own spiritual authority to question, question, question and to hold my own in negotiating with anyone, deities included.
It's tough to be right-sized, so tempting to allow myself to inflate into a puffed-up ego, or to slack off into deflation as well. I have compassion for my friend and I affirm that he is where he is and that he has lessons for me and for others, though he probably has no earthly idea of the lessons he has for me. At one point he shared this judgmental idea about "this world" vs. the spiritual, and I had to offer a different way of looking at it, that it was "the Mind" rather than "this world." The Mind, or really rather Ego is what creates a lot of the ugliness around us. When you say "this world," you're lumping a lot of valuable stuff into it that perhaps you wouldn't want to throw out. (Also, the spiritual needs to incorporate the soulful, but I didn't say this at the time. I was heading toward my bedtime as I conferred with my friend. I wish I had the thought to say that it's not either-or but both-and, and also that the mind is about separation but the heart is about integration and unity, nonduality. But that will have to wait.) Do you really want to throw out this beautiful spring day we're having? Isn't there a spiritual value in living with the weather, even during a hurricane? In the world of the Ego, however, all seems to revolve around one's not being right-sized--it thinks it can tell the ocean to stop being wet and it thinks it's the sole reason the world is such an awful place. Which in an odd way is true because the ego has a habit of selective focus where reality is concerned.
The Ego/Mind does have a place. It's just not at the center of all things. The Heart is at the heart for a reason, after all. It's centrally located in our bodies and it is the source of all that we value and cherish. The Ego/Mind needs to support and feed the Heart's desires. The aspect that is "The Brave Soldier" needs to be honored and given new work rather than defending ourselves against illusory attackers. When faced with a real attack, it can catapult into action if it's necessary. Which it turns out isn't as often as we would think. The brave soldier needs to work for the Heart's Desires. This world is only a vale of tears if we choose to hold onto this reality as the be-all and end-all. And it passes by so quickly, it seems. It only makes sense to be in the Sacred Heart, the Black Heart of Innocence.
Don't pick up my addictions, stay connected, help others. That's what it all comes down to. Simple, but oh what a challenge. I even forget to add that into my prayers each day, this from which all goodness flows. It's so much easier to focus on the juridicidal maniacs, the homophobic wannabe-butchers out there. But I get to shine my Excalibur of Light on them and seek out the Divine Children within these confused and woozy folk. Guess it's what I signed up for, though I don't have any idea how it's going to happen.
More to be revealed.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Whirlwind of Insanity
It's difficult to know exactly what to do in all this mess. The addictions we face in other people are fairly breathtaking. It's fascinating how Americans of all stripes are dividing into all sorts of camps. I don't really know where I fit, though I can't say I am comfortable standing in the question.
The loudest addicts out there are the religious wingnuts. "Wingnuttia" they're being referred to in the world of weblogs. They're being fairly brazen about their hatred of those who have any differing ideas, now coming just shy of advocating "juridicide." I could go on and on about what a bunch of violent crybabies these people are. I do feel troubled, but it's the same kind of troubled I felt when my Dad would come home from a crappy day at a crappy job. Alcohol was the thing he turned to as friend and lover. (Oddly enough, I'm listening to Tim McGraw's "Walk Like a Man"--"Your daddy's demons will call your name/don't you listen to 'em cause they got no claim/temptation may come that ain't no sin/you get stronger every time that you don't give in/The sins of the father are the sins of the son, you can't undo what has been done./You'll have to retrace his footsteps through the sand./And pray you find the love of a girl/and take her by the hand and walk on like a man...") And though I can only speculate as to what went through his mind, he got all twisty-turny on his own family and would wake up the morning after all ashamed and whatnot. But the addict got a deep hold of my dad, and as far as I can see, it's just been entrenched with the Alzheimer's. He's said some crazy crap to my Mom still to this day, living in ancient vindictiveness.
There's just a whole lot of pain across the Western world. A lot of it comes from the unnatural way we've all had to live our lives in civilization. But each of us adds to our misery in our own special ways, and it's amazing the mystery of how we can all get out of it if we just turn our focus inward. When we do that, when we feel the universal love of the Source-of-All-That-Is (aka The Star Goddess, as I understand Her), when we see that each of us is a material node of the Source and that each one of us has access to that universal love, fear really does dissolve like cotton candy. Oh, to be sure, there are certain entities that appear to be nonplussed that we have so found that place of peace. I have really pissed off a couple of entities that I know of, and the entity I encountered in Journey a couple of weeks ago ("Familios") wanted the light, drank it in, but boy did he feel pain. I could feel that pain myself. I feel pain when someone shows tenderness and gentleness with me. I like it, I need it, I crave it, and of course I want it to stop, and I try to stay with the tenderness till it's fully expressed, but I also feel that little soldier inside me wanting to bolt.
I see all these people out there inside their addictions, be they religious-belief addictions or economic-belief addictions or other forms of secular-belief addictions (as well as booze, drugs, sex, shopping, TV, etc.) and they're all defending themselves against ghosts who they have chosen to incarnate in some "Other." These people aren't really there. They're vectors of mechanized rage, astroturfing their way into newspapers and showing up armed outside the houses of judges. The language of that is particularly telling. They've latched onto the aspect of Judgment and they're attacking it even as they feel attacked by judgment. The religious wingnuttia out there have a particularly mixed view on the word "Judgment", longing for the "God who's taken their side" to sit in judgment of all those whose side the religious wingnut in his projected dementia has determined to be Them. And it all stems from a fear of their own darkness, a fear of their own imperfectly glorious humanity. Some of them really do believe in their heart of hearts that they are truly scum, but there's this childish notion that they'll still be "saved" because they've opted for the Plan A+ Spiritual Package.
There's no reasoning with people like this. For all intents and purposes I treat them like other alcoholics who are drinking. I try and stay out of their way, and if I need to deal with them, I bring a heavy load of detachment. It doesn't make sense to take whatever an alcholic says personally. What they're doing is spewing their self-hatred onto others. It's sad and it's transparent, and it's best to limit one's precious incarnated time with them as they refuse all assistance, and possess the deepest contempt prior to investigation. For the religious addict, the selections from Bible Verse or Koranic pronouncements or Talmudic Wrath is the booze. "Justified anger, it turns out, is the dubious luxury of those who don't have a problem with [addiction]." I've been noticing a certain sort of wooziness in the pundits and a breathless antsiness that makes me think of drunks who've not been able to get the kind of hit they got when they were 15.
Can we really detach from these people as they careen around the world stage? Or do we have to find a way to gently and lovingly intervene? But where are the political mental-health professionals out there who have a means to stroke the Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons of this world into World-Stage Rehab? How do we work that one? To be sure, if these radical clerics could wake up to their shortcomings and just say "This isn't working like it used to, and I have a real problem," that would be the heavens opening up and saying "God is with us all." And I'm sure there is someone out there who can do this. Or maybe it's several million someones who get together and say "Look guys, you've got to get yourselves together, and admit you're powerless over these toxic beliefs and that your life is unmanagable." To be certain, people like myself--witch, recovering compulsive eater, gay--I'm one of the people they would never in a million years listen to. But there are probably decent, caring Christians out there who might have a shot. I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here. What do you think?
The loudest addicts out there are the religious wingnuts. "Wingnuttia" they're being referred to in the world of weblogs. They're being fairly brazen about their hatred of those who have any differing ideas, now coming just shy of advocating "juridicide." I could go on and on about what a bunch of violent crybabies these people are. I do feel troubled, but it's the same kind of troubled I felt when my Dad would come home from a crappy day at a crappy job. Alcohol was the thing he turned to as friend and lover. (Oddly enough, I'm listening to Tim McGraw's "Walk Like a Man"--"Your daddy's demons will call your name/don't you listen to 'em cause they got no claim/temptation may come that ain't no sin/you get stronger every time that you don't give in/The sins of the father are the sins of the son, you can't undo what has been done./You'll have to retrace his footsteps through the sand./And pray you find the love of a girl/and take her by the hand and walk on like a man...") And though I can only speculate as to what went through his mind, he got all twisty-turny on his own family and would wake up the morning after all ashamed and whatnot. But the addict got a deep hold of my dad, and as far as I can see, it's just been entrenched with the Alzheimer's. He's said some crazy crap to my Mom still to this day, living in ancient vindictiveness.
There's just a whole lot of pain across the Western world. A lot of it comes from the unnatural way we've all had to live our lives in civilization. But each of us adds to our misery in our own special ways, and it's amazing the mystery of how we can all get out of it if we just turn our focus inward. When we do that, when we feel the universal love of the Source-of-All-That-Is (aka The Star Goddess, as I understand Her), when we see that each of us is a material node of the Source and that each one of us has access to that universal love, fear really does dissolve like cotton candy. Oh, to be sure, there are certain entities that appear to be nonplussed that we have so found that place of peace. I have really pissed off a couple of entities that I know of, and the entity I encountered in Journey a couple of weeks ago ("Familios") wanted the light, drank it in, but boy did he feel pain. I could feel that pain myself. I feel pain when someone shows tenderness and gentleness with me. I like it, I need it, I crave it, and of course I want it to stop, and I try to stay with the tenderness till it's fully expressed, but I also feel that little soldier inside me wanting to bolt.
I see all these people out there inside their addictions, be they religious-belief addictions or economic-belief addictions or other forms of secular-belief addictions (as well as booze, drugs, sex, shopping, TV, etc.) and they're all defending themselves against ghosts who they have chosen to incarnate in some "Other." These people aren't really there. They're vectors of mechanized rage, astroturfing their way into newspapers and showing up armed outside the houses of judges. The language of that is particularly telling. They've latched onto the aspect of Judgment and they're attacking it even as they feel attacked by judgment. The religious wingnuttia out there have a particularly mixed view on the word "Judgment", longing for the "God who's taken their side" to sit in judgment of all those whose side the religious wingnut in his projected dementia has determined to be Them. And it all stems from a fear of their own darkness, a fear of their own imperfectly glorious humanity. Some of them really do believe in their heart of hearts that they are truly scum, but there's this childish notion that they'll still be "saved" because they've opted for the Plan A+ Spiritual Package.
There's no reasoning with people like this. For all intents and purposes I treat them like other alcoholics who are drinking. I try and stay out of their way, and if I need to deal with them, I bring a heavy load of detachment. It doesn't make sense to take whatever an alcholic says personally. What they're doing is spewing their self-hatred onto others. It's sad and it's transparent, and it's best to limit one's precious incarnated time with them as they refuse all assistance, and possess the deepest contempt prior to investigation. For the religious addict, the selections from Bible Verse or Koranic pronouncements or Talmudic Wrath is the booze. "Justified anger, it turns out, is the dubious luxury of those who don't have a problem with [addiction]." I've been noticing a certain sort of wooziness in the pundits and a breathless antsiness that makes me think of drunks who've not been able to get the kind of hit they got when they were 15.
Can we really detach from these people as they careen around the world stage? Or do we have to find a way to gently and lovingly intervene? But where are the political mental-health professionals out there who have a means to stroke the Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons of this world into World-Stage Rehab? How do we work that one? To be sure, if these radical clerics could wake up to their shortcomings and just say "This isn't working like it used to, and I have a real problem," that would be the heavens opening up and saying "God is with us all." And I'm sure there is someone out there who can do this. Or maybe it's several million someones who get together and say "Look guys, you've got to get yourselves together, and admit you're powerless over these toxic beliefs and that your life is unmanagable." To be certain, people like myself--witch, recovering compulsive eater, gay--I'm one of the people they would never in a million years listen to. But there are probably decent, caring Christians out there who might have a shot. I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here. What do you think?
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Popelah
I don't really know where I stand about the death of an 84 year-old man while all these other people are clutching their breasts in "grief." I put the word in quotes because I'm not convinced a lot of it is genuine. There are some really bizarre ideas floating around out there. I take it that the Pope, who I thought was ultraconservative, was seen as a raving wild-eyed liberal by some uneducated pundits. (Is that redundant?) To be sure, there were the right words spoken about labor issues, about international relations and about elevating peace above all else. But the divisiveness of this powerful politician within his own bailiwick together with his silence about the priestly abuse-of-power issues symbolized by the pedophilia scandal do also combine to mar his stint at this helm of the war-bark. "One of the best 13th century minds, laid to rest" as a co-worker quipped.
I'm curious to see who the next Pope will be. I surmise that, should they choose someone from South America, Asia or Africa, we'll be seeing an even more entrenched opposition to modernity/post-modernity and toward the coming earth changes that our unsustainable ways of life are leading to. Mother Earth is getting ready to turn over a lot of that dross whether we do so or not. I'm inclined to go along with Gaian flow as it were, but we have various people at different stages of cognitive development who are straining to force their points-of-view upon everyone else. "Screw acceptance," they seem to be saying. "Fuck the spiritual and the soulful! We've got all the playing pieces so we'll tell you what's 'spiritual'!" Ullshit-bay. We have a saying in the 12 Step Rooms that applies to all people regardless of their ego-state: "Let go or get dragged." It may have taken the church 500 years to grudgingly acknowledge that Galileo was right. It may take another 400 years for the church to acknowledge that homosexuality is a con natura, not contra natura. Or not--maybe the Ossifitution won't be around then. Who knows? But the thing about change and moving from one state into another--I don't like to call it "progress" necessarily, because sometimes what seems like progress is backsliding and vice versa--we are each waking up to our own value as spiritual beings in material bodies. We do this in our own way, on our own time. And so-called "lower energies" as embodied in the first three chakras are as holy in their expression as the 7th chakra of spiritual revelation.
The Church as it stands today seems to be stuck in that 7th chakra, while insisting the rest of us stay stuck in the first. The Second chakra where we find our desire nature and sexuality is a gateway to higher chakras, and if we are all stuck in survival mode--and what a poor manifestation of the 1st Chakra at that--then the powers that be have no challenges to consolidate their "empires of the mind." But in this rather short galactic age (if I understand the Mayan calendar correctly, we are in a very compressed section of history that precedes an even more compressed year of daily change from 2011 to 2012), then we will most likely witness the attempt to consolidate followed by its necessary implosion.
The thing that I keep observing about the craziness around us all though, is how like drunks most of these people are. I look at their pictures, and I wonder just what drug they are each on. I guess Ann Coulter's drugs of choice are cigarettes and Chardonnay, if David Brock is to be believed. I would imagine that Tom DeLay's is money and whatever it is he buys with it. I'd imagine that Cheney's is force itself, which is a distortion of true power. I think of other people I know who are in the clutches of "Red-state-itis". One of them drinks. Another one seems to be in denial, and may be an enabler extraordinaire. I think my Mom has a thing for closet drunks. She'll come up with some corkers all right.
One other comment: I see there are lots of people who label J2P2 as "a holy man." I would agree with this, but so too dear reader are you a holy person. I am a holy person. Michael Jackson is a holy man. Ann Coulter is a holy woman/man. We each one of us are sacred gifts, and while that is sometimes a difficult thing to swallow, no one is truly a demon really. We need to shine our loving lights on everyone for we are as much that which we seek as we are that which we despise. Does this mean to turn doormat to these people who would take away our rights? I think not. Compassion isn't service unless it also serves us. Compassion seems to be something that sometimes does require that we resolutely fight for ourselves sometimes. Because we are really fighting for the others as well, whether they know it or not. I for one am not sure that we can go through our legal and judicial systems any longer. Somehow I think the key lies in local controls, in lots of people everywhere just deciding "pfffft! I can't take this anymore, I can't make this work anymore, I just need to let go and let the/a God/dess." Rather than be pushed around or put up a resistance, to just stop. Get together with other tired folk who have had enough and just slump together. I guess you could call it an "Exhaust-In." But aren't we all tired of worrying, of overworking, of being taken advantage of? Can we at some point wake up to the understanding that we get reciprocity when we give reciprocity, and really take it seriously the idea to "let it begin with me?" For we are all capable of magnificence, my friends.
Let it begin with me, whatever that means.
I'm curious to see who the next Pope will be. I surmise that, should they choose someone from South America, Asia or Africa, we'll be seeing an even more entrenched opposition to modernity/post-modernity and toward the coming earth changes that our unsustainable ways of life are leading to. Mother Earth is getting ready to turn over a lot of that dross whether we do so or not. I'm inclined to go along with Gaian flow as it were, but we have various people at different stages of cognitive development who are straining to force their points-of-view upon everyone else. "Screw acceptance," they seem to be saying. "Fuck the spiritual and the soulful! We've got all the playing pieces so we'll tell you what's 'spiritual'!" Ullshit-bay. We have a saying in the 12 Step Rooms that applies to all people regardless of their ego-state: "Let go or get dragged." It may have taken the church 500 years to grudgingly acknowledge that Galileo was right. It may take another 400 years for the church to acknowledge that homosexuality is a con natura, not contra natura. Or not--maybe the Ossifitution won't be around then. Who knows? But the thing about change and moving from one state into another--I don't like to call it "progress" necessarily, because sometimes what seems like progress is backsliding and vice versa--we are each waking up to our own value as spiritual beings in material bodies. We do this in our own way, on our own time. And so-called "lower energies" as embodied in the first three chakras are as holy in their expression as the 7th chakra of spiritual revelation.
The Church as it stands today seems to be stuck in that 7th chakra, while insisting the rest of us stay stuck in the first. The Second chakra where we find our desire nature and sexuality is a gateway to higher chakras, and if we are all stuck in survival mode--and what a poor manifestation of the 1st Chakra at that--then the powers that be have no challenges to consolidate their "empires of the mind." But in this rather short galactic age (if I understand the Mayan calendar correctly, we are in a very compressed section of history that precedes an even more compressed year of daily change from 2011 to 2012), then we will most likely witness the attempt to consolidate followed by its necessary implosion.
The thing that I keep observing about the craziness around us all though, is how like drunks most of these people are. I look at their pictures, and I wonder just what drug they are each on. I guess Ann Coulter's drugs of choice are cigarettes and Chardonnay, if David Brock is to be believed. I would imagine that Tom DeLay's is money and whatever it is he buys with it. I'd imagine that Cheney's is force itself, which is a distortion of true power. I think of other people I know who are in the clutches of "Red-state-itis". One of them drinks. Another one seems to be in denial, and may be an enabler extraordinaire. I think my Mom has a thing for closet drunks. She'll come up with some corkers all right.
One other comment: I see there are lots of people who label J2P2 as "a holy man." I would agree with this, but so too dear reader are you a holy person. I am a holy person. Michael Jackson is a holy man. Ann Coulter is a holy woman/man. We each one of us are sacred gifts, and while that is sometimes a difficult thing to swallow, no one is truly a demon really. We need to shine our loving lights on everyone for we are as much that which we seek as we are that which we despise. Does this mean to turn doormat to these people who would take away our rights? I think not. Compassion isn't service unless it also serves us. Compassion seems to be something that sometimes does require that we resolutely fight for ourselves sometimes. Because we are really fighting for the others as well, whether they know it or not. I for one am not sure that we can go through our legal and judicial systems any longer. Somehow I think the key lies in local controls, in lots of people everywhere just deciding "pfffft! I can't take this anymore, I can't make this work anymore, I just need to let go and let the/a God/dess." Rather than be pushed around or put up a resistance, to just stop. Get together with other tired folk who have had enough and just slump together. I guess you could call it an "Exhaust-In." But aren't we all tired of worrying, of overworking, of being taken advantage of? Can we at some point wake up to the understanding that we get reciprocity when we give reciprocity, and really take it seriously the idea to "let it begin with me?" For we are all capable of magnificence, my friends.
Let it begin with me, whatever that means.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Spiritual Growth
I had a couple of epiphanies last week regarding spiritual growth. The first I think I mentioned in my last post, that "spiritual growth" as a concept is not akin to growing up physically or in wisdom. It's more like cleaning the basement, and the thing that grows is space itself. When we grow spiritually, we are clearing space around our True Selves.
The second epiphany came in a dream I had. I finished reading Putting on the Mind of Christ last week, and while I found much of value in the book, I personally had trouble with the notion of moving from one realm to another, as if we don't look back. Whether Jim Marion meant to imply that or not, the message I got was when we have the Dark Night of the Senses, we leave the Psychic Realm behind for the Subtle Realm, then when we have the Dark Night of the Soul, we leave the Subtle Realm behind to enter into Christ Consciousness which then evolves into Nondual Awareness.
In my dream, there were three boxes in my heart. Each box was connected to a Self. I sensed that one was the Psychic Self, the second the Subtle Self, and the third the Christ Self (which was a little bit fainter than the other two, but I saw and felt its presence nonetheless). The boxes were set one within the next, with the Psychic Box being the most inset, the Subtle in the middle and the bottom was the Christ self. I felt I had access to all three simultaneously, that I could go back and forth between them as I needed. I only felt myself go into the Psychic Self in the dream, and watched a fifth self (my inner child?) reach into my heart to pull the psychic box out, but it was attached to the Subtle Box, which wouldn't let it go. So the dream appeared to me to say "don't try to figure out which of these Selves is the one where you're most at. Just accept that you have access to all three as you need, and don't worry about it." It's not that I evolve from one to the next, it's more like they are different outfits I can get myself into and out of. My True Self is probably in a nondual state, but I can wear the Psychic Outfit, the Subtle Outfit and the Christ-Causal outfit as well.
Last week, I also journeyed into a spontaneous meeting with Persephone and Hades (guided by Hecate) and they gave me a doublet and tunic and a light-bearing sword. It was gorgeous, giving off a bluish glow. Kind of reminded me of the Orc-sensers in the Lord of the Rings books. I went out into the fog and I was instructed: "You will meet a creature out there. If you slay it, you have failed, if you are slain you have failed." I wasn't told to make the creature my friend so I decided to keep it fairly detached. Basically, I encountered a black dragon with red eyes and black wings that was surly, depressed and lonely. He called himself "Familios." (How literal can you get?) Anyway, after a bit of negotiation, I pulled out the sword and held it up in the air to give light to the beast. I could tell it was appreciated, but that it was painful for Familios to be put into the light, and he quietly asked me to put it back in the hilt and to please go. Which I did.
In dealing with my family demon, I need to approach him with perfect love and perfect trust. Somehow I found it, and it was much easier than I had imagined it would be. I guess I'm just ready for it. I don't know if I was dealing specifically with my collective families' karma or with civilization's family karma in this moment. I'll have to ask my guides, but my sense it was more the latter than the former. Familios didn't feel so specific to me and my family. I'll be curious to see how news of my own family and of all families breaks out in the next few weeks. Provided I hear anything about it.
The second epiphany came in a dream I had. I finished reading Putting on the Mind of Christ last week, and while I found much of value in the book, I personally had trouble with the notion of moving from one realm to another, as if we don't look back. Whether Jim Marion meant to imply that or not, the message I got was when we have the Dark Night of the Senses, we leave the Psychic Realm behind for the Subtle Realm, then when we have the Dark Night of the Soul, we leave the Subtle Realm behind to enter into Christ Consciousness which then evolves into Nondual Awareness.
In my dream, there were three boxes in my heart. Each box was connected to a Self. I sensed that one was the Psychic Self, the second the Subtle Self, and the third the Christ Self (which was a little bit fainter than the other two, but I saw and felt its presence nonetheless). The boxes were set one within the next, with the Psychic Box being the most inset, the Subtle in the middle and the bottom was the Christ self. I felt I had access to all three simultaneously, that I could go back and forth between them as I needed. I only felt myself go into the Psychic Self in the dream, and watched a fifth self (my inner child?) reach into my heart to pull the psychic box out, but it was attached to the Subtle Box, which wouldn't let it go. So the dream appeared to me to say "don't try to figure out which of these Selves is the one where you're most at. Just accept that you have access to all three as you need, and don't worry about it." It's not that I evolve from one to the next, it's more like they are different outfits I can get myself into and out of. My True Self is probably in a nondual state, but I can wear the Psychic Outfit, the Subtle Outfit and the Christ-Causal outfit as well.
Last week, I also journeyed into a spontaneous meeting with Persephone and Hades (guided by Hecate) and they gave me a doublet and tunic and a light-bearing sword. It was gorgeous, giving off a bluish glow. Kind of reminded me of the Orc-sensers in the Lord of the Rings books. I went out into the fog and I was instructed: "You will meet a creature out there. If you slay it, you have failed, if you are slain you have failed." I wasn't told to make the creature my friend so I decided to keep it fairly detached. Basically, I encountered a black dragon with red eyes and black wings that was surly, depressed and lonely. He called himself "Familios." (How literal can you get?) Anyway, after a bit of negotiation, I pulled out the sword and held it up in the air to give light to the beast. I could tell it was appreciated, but that it was painful for Familios to be put into the light, and he quietly asked me to put it back in the hilt and to please go. Which I did.
In dealing with my family demon, I need to approach him with perfect love and perfect trust. Somehow I found it, and it was much easier than I had imagined it would be. I guess I'm just ready for it. I don't know if I was dealing specifically with my collective families' karma or with civilization's family karma in this moment. I'll have to ask my guides, but my sense it was more the latter than the former. Familios didn't feel so specific to me and my family. I'll be curious to see how news of my own family and of all families breaks out in the next few weeks. Provided I hear anything about it.
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