Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hanuman Undine - The Ugh Zone!

For any people who have not given up on me and this blog, I offer my deepest apologies. As well as to those who have given up on me, and the notion that I just got sick of it and left this off.

Right now I'm experiencing a supremely blech!moment. The spring equinox (or "Sprinquinox!" as I like to call it) tends to bring out a crazy energy in me. Last year, I dealt with this energy coupled with a deep post-show depression after having acted in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest; boy was that painful. That was when a person I know with a social work b.g. told me that in the Northeast, March and April are the times of year when people are most likely to kill themselves, suffer job-losses, divorces, and other sorts of traumas. So basically I see that I'm here AGAIN, another year older, but at least I'm not going through a post-show depression. (There is that at least!)

In thinking about my own personal wheel of the year, this is the 12th house time in my chart. Around Beltane, interestingly, is when the Sun hits my Ascendant. I do notice a sort of push inside me at that time, and that excites me. It also comes right after my next Feri training session with a teacher in Massachusetts.

I started a new job about a month ago, as well. My old boss finally hired me away from the previous job--offering me quite an increase in salary. Transitions always take a little bit of time, and I'm not quite out of the woods with finances yet. But next month looks to be pretty promising, should the economy not hit the skids. That being said, I do pray for the economy to crash and for the financial system of extraction/dehumanization/civilization/addiction/vampiricuntishness to fail and fail grandly! (Morte a la civ, vive a la civ!)

I have not been praying that as much as I've been praying to embody the flower above my head and to know the work and joy of this god that I am, to know/love myself in all my parts.

Blessings to you all. We'll see if I somehow maintain this more in the coming months.