The Goddess and the God work in mysterious ways

When I was on the plane coming into Newark Airport, I felt a deep disquiet about returning to New York. Thankfully that has all left me, I'm happy to be here now. But I had to go through a number of beautiful, challenging experiences to get to this place. One of those took place 30,000 feet in the air.

In those last two hours I was flying from Denver to Newark, I felt I needed to calm myself down. I was concerned that with the pResident Select speaking in New York, it would be too tempting an opportunity for a terror attack on the City Many People Hate. Also, I needed to prepare myself for that feeling of torpor and despair I knew would have a grip on the place I live. The Republicunts basically invaded New York, and occupied the town, laying economic and cultural waste in their path. I could feel the pall in the air even over Chicago.

So I meditated on the plane, and in that meditation, I was alerted to a shocking fact, that the spirit I've been working with who referred to herself as Karburown, the Steward of the Mountain of Playwriting, is actually the goddess Cerridwen. She sent me on a further meditative journey that I won't go into here. But I've been reading a bunch of info about Cerridwen and understanding that I've always been somehow connected to her. She gave me a magickal name to use--Frostwolf Cerridwens, was what I used as a placeholder until I learned more about Cerridwen. I found out that Taliesin, the great Celtic bard, was her son in a story rather reminiscent of the birth of Athena. Like Athena, Taliesin is a god of creativity but is also one of bardic inspiration. One of Taliesin's titles however was Cerrdorion which means "son of Cerridwen." So I worked out the optimal numerology of the name. Frostwolff Kerrdorion works out the best--the second f in Frostwolff makes the whole name a 6 which harmonizes the 4 of my birth name and the 9 of my birthday.

I also had another experience recently with a God of my understanding. www.faerywolf.com has a shrine to the Blue God of the Feri Tradition. Since I got back from New York Witch Camp, I've been ravenous for information about paganism. Up in Copake, I found a family I never knew I had. It was a similar experience to when I went to North Dakota for my grandmother's funeral. There I met blood-family members I never knew before, and felt profoundly welcomed. I also feel there's something very special about the land on which my folks live, some primal maternal energy that probably goes back a couple of generations, or perhaps the land sits on some ley lines as does the New York State Capitol.

Well, one of my web-forays led me to Faerywolf's site, which is amazing for any and all queer pagans to take a gander at. His essay about the Amethyst Pentacle has made for some interesting meditations and awareness of where I am on my path as of this moment. When I got to his Shrine to the Blue God however, I burst into tears. The only way I can describe it is that, in putting together the various pieces of the jigsaw of my life, I have this one section of pieces that I've been slowly amassing with the one blue color over in one corner, and with this shrine page, I found the lynch-pieces that unified all those others together, and was able to plop a whole part of the mosaic into place.

There's even more to the story than this, it keeps unfolding. The Blue God, also referred to as Dian-y-Glas in Feri (and Malek Taus by the Yezidi), has been appearing in dreams and in various guises in my everyday life. So has Cerridwen in her own way. I try to commune with them a couple times a day now, though they get irritated with me if I try to do so when I'm coming in to work. I've been sending that out to either the three H's--Hermes, Hestia and Hephaestus--or to the more general positive powers of the Universe. (It's all right if I'm at work to commune with C and D, just not in transit.) I'm so glad to have discovered that I've been walking in their soft moon-and-starlight all my life long. They've communicated their love to me even through the blue Christmas lights my Mom put on the tree each year when I was growing up.

All this and the Grand Quintiles of October too! What a blessed world!