Spiritual Growth

I had a couple of epiphanies last week regarding spiritual growth. The first I think I mentioned in my last post, that "spiritual growth" as a concept is not akin to growing up physically or in wisdom. It's more like cleaning the basement, and the thing that grows is space itself. When we grow spiritually, we are clearing space around our True Selves.

The second epiphany came in a dream I had. I finished reading Putting on the Mind of Christ last week, and while I found much of value in the book, I personally had trouble with the notion of moving from one realm to another, as if we don't look back. Whether Jim Marion meant to imply that or not, the message I got was when we have the Dark Night of the Senses, we leave the Psychic Realm behind for the Subtle Realm, then when we have the Dark Night of the Soul, we leave the Subtle Realm behind to enter into Christ Consciousness which then evolves into Nondual Awareness.

In my dream, there were three boxes in my heart. Each box was connected to a Self. I sensed that one was the Psychic Self, the second the Subtle Self, and the third the Christ Self (which was a little bit fainter than the other two, but I saw and felt its presence nonetheless). The boxes were set one within the next, with the Psychic Box being the most inset, the Subtle in the middle and the bottom was the Christ self. I felt I had access to all three simultaneously, that I could go back and forth between them as I needed. I only felt myself go into the Psychic Self in the dream, and watched a fifth self (my inner child?) reach into my heart to pull the psychic box out, but it was attached to the Subtle Box, which wouldn't let it go. So the dream appeared to me to say "don't try to figure out which of these Selves is the one where you're most at. Just accept that you have access to all three as you need, and don't worry about it." It's not that I evolve from one to the next, it's more like they are different outfits I can get myself into and out of. My True Self is probably in a nondual state, but I can wear the Psychic Outfit, the Subtle Outfit and the Christ-Causal outfit as well.

Last week, I also journeyed into a spontaneous meeting with Persephone and Hades (guided by Hecate) and they gave me a doublet and tunic and a light-bearing sword. It was gorgeous, giving off a bluish glow. Kind of reminded me of the Orc-sensers in the Lord of the Rings books. I went out into the fog and I was instructed: "You will meet a creature out there. If you slay it, you have failed, if you are slain you have failed." I wasn't told to make the creature my friend so I decided to keep it fairly detached. Basically, I encountered a black dragon with red eyes and black wings that was surly, depressed and lonely. He called himself "Familios." (How literal can you get?) Anyway, after a bit of negotiation, I pulled out the sword and held it up in the air to give light to the beast. I could tell it was appreciated, but that it was painful for Familios to be put into the light, and he quietly asked me to put it back in the hilt and to please go. Which I did.

In dealing with my family demon, I need to approach him with perfect love and perfect trust. Somehow I found it, and it was much easier than I had imagined it would be. I guess I'm just ready for it. I don't know if I was dealing specifically with my collective families' karma or with civilization's family karma in this moment. I'll have to ask my guides, but my sense it was more the latter than the former. Familios didn't feel so specific to me and my family. I'll be curious to see how news of my own family and of all families breaks out in the next few weeks. Provided I hear anything about it.