Princess of Cups/Hermes-Salamander (Fire Elemental)

Not been blogging much of late. Have wanted to, because I'm in a temporary writer's block again, due to structural concerns of having a 40-hour/week job. Over the last three weeks, I worked quite a bit of OT as well, and didn't have time to put anything down.

I was writing in my journal yesterday, yearning to be creative. Oh, my did I so wish to be in "the zone". For my belated Ostara/New Moon ritual last week, I threw a tarot reading on my creativity. My ally is ye olde Herm(es)it. It never occurred to me that Hermit and Hermes were of course interrelated. Could be that to find oneself in Hermitage is a devotion to the messenger god? Getting quiet to receive those messages was what I longed for yesterday and still do today.

I wrote a little poem on this today:

Twenty minutes is not time enough!
Dive deep into Hermit waters
after noshing on my healthy lunch?
How mad do I have to be here?
You try and create a something
that will speak a profoundest truth
in the space of a noontime break!
Ah, I need to choose gratitude
nonetheless, for my forty-hour
shackles (at least while they have me)
even if it takes up all the space
that it does, blocking my real work.

***

Today, I do have a modicum of time as the dust here at the firm seems to have settled somewhat. Since I'm typing "on firm time" as it were, I am reticent to put much down on the virtual paper of a blog entry. I have come to like the people I work with very much, and it pains me to see that some people are no longer here.

Some people have been making appearances in my dreams, and not in that ominous "you don't belong here!" way that coworkers have appeared in dreams during jobs I've thoroughly detested. I do belong where I'm at! I know it in my soul. But it's a curious thing to let people in on this in this sickly culture that is dying. I need to release the information at the appropriate time. That day is coming, I sense. But I've dreamt that my boyfriend was a co-worker and one of my actual co-workers was in the dream. I dreamt that my b.f. and another co-worker were helping me move into a Tourist Court-type motel (aka dingbat). I dreamt two of my co-workers were talking as if they were characters in one of my plays, and that one had arranged to whack someone on a Carnivore Cruise. (That's a rather wild play. Think The Sopranos meets How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying by way of My Name is Bill W. Yep. Pretty fun and weird.) And in a meditation recently, I saw my best and brightest self in the personage of the Managing Principal. (Not to be confused with holding the office of the Managing Principal, a job for which I'm so not cut out for 6 ways to Thors'day!)

Anyway, I need to sign this off for today. Hopefully I'll have more tamari.