Tower Hephaestus Deer - Musings on courage

It occurred to me today that today's world is so paralyzed and intoxicated with addictive hate, that it really does take courage to love and to hold myself and others accountable for our actions. The whiny worshippers of Jehovah-Satan (Yaldabaoth) pretty much wish to remain children. I think there are a number of people within the sciences that want to stay that way, just as much as I know there are within the arts. I myself have long felt rueful about being a playwright. I wish I could do theater without "theater people," many of whom are as addicted to drama offstage as they are alive to it onstage. People who wish to shuffle off their responsibilities to be human beings just make me tired.

And they deserve my love as much as our next sick and suffering fellows do, "in or out of the rooms of [Empire] Anonymous." Alcoholics=Narcotics=Overeaters=Gamblers=Sex & Love Addicts=Debtors=Empire=Domestication=Socialization=Absence-in-all-but-Body. Anonymous.

Sometimes I wonder if I even have the strength to treat the likes of W, Cheney, Ann Coulter with lovingkindess. I know they won't appreciate it, they'll spit on it even. Try to stomp their feet in my face. And I struggle with knowing the difference between compassion and "idiot compassion," forgiveness that's appropriate and worthwhile and the "codependent forgiveness" that erodes my sense of self just to make nice and be "in-control." Sometimes the compassionate thing is to express outrage. Sometimes it's taking defensive measures, though I don't know that the Israeli rabbinical council's declamation that there are no innocents where they dropped their bombs is anything but raving madness that needs to be contained somehow.

I must strive to send blessings outward, and ask the cosmos to heal sick humanity. To be shown where compassionate action lies, because frankly I don't know. I know it's not in protesting, not for me anymore. Show me where a protest has an effect these days. I haven't seen it, mostly because the protest continues the addicts' game. Really, it's about surrender, about knowing what to surrender and how. I won't even go into "why" because that's just conundrum-in-the-making for my ever-hungry addict to play with.

There are some interesting synchronicities going on too. I've performed my "Hekate's Prayer for the Common American" a few times in Albany now. People seem to really respond to it, not just the "calling south" aspect of it--I use my body as a percussion instrument as I sing it out. They're responding to the words as well. We know we have to turn to each other to create the Big Edens that are inside us, that are immanent within. I have seen a town we future-residents call "Scanekta." I don't know if I'm spelling it right. It's funny, I moved up to Albany understanding that Schenectady was nearby, though I've not seen my vision of Scanekta there. I've met people, and I've even been able to stroll the meadows and streets pied nue and the rest of me too! In total acceptance, and even sometime lust in some of the town's more bawdy residents. In my visions.

I'm being prompted to focus on what lights me up. There will be opposition because where I need to go carries the "threat" that others will have to also look within to find the Kingdom of Heaven. I'm going out on a limb, but I say the life I want is not only possible, but it's inevitable. Others have lived it, I will live it, and I offer it up that I'm living it now. I'm all lit up.

Blessings.