Wearing a Superman T-shirt

Years ago, my friend Peggy gave me a Superman T-shirt for my birthday.  I thrill when I wear it, but I sometimes forget I have an odd sort of responsibility when I don the azure shirt with flaming-red S over yellow field up-front-center.

Tonight as I was coming to work, I needed to duck into an ATM and get some money.  It being Saturday night, there are a lot of inebriates out and about.  ("Amateur night.")  Well, these four dudes pounded on the ATM kiosk as I was withdrawing money and they were all pretty well in-spirited.  They were all sort of cheering me on in wearing my shirt, which never fails to catch me off guard.  Even when I want the attention, I still expect to be ignored.  So I was a beat behind tonight when these guys were showing their approval.  One guy hung around to make sure I got it, and I gave him the thumbs up, but I was kind of distracted too, what with getting my money and being visible, getting my money.  Something that we all have to do and I sort of expect privacy as I'm sure most others do.  But drinkers being drinkers, it's all about them, so I had to pay Dionysus what was Dionysus's as it were. 

The funny thing was that after I got my money, I couldn't get out of the ATM kiosk area.  I kept hitting that button to exit, but it was inoperable I guess.  I had to wait for the next ATM customer to rescue me.  (Hilarious.  A man in a Superman T needs to be delivered from the clutches of Washington Mutual.  Damn that Lex Lucre!) 

As I continued on to work, I pondered this responsibility of wearing the t-shirt.  I decided to wear this one specifically tonight.  I wondered whether I was really up to the task.  This week I've been doing the Grand Jury.  I'm the foreman and I get to swear the witnesses in.  (It can be interesting, but we basically get the same kind of cases again and again.  If there weren't any drug laws, we would have almost nothing to do.  Guess that applies to the ADAs and the Judges too, eh?)  When it comes to deliberation, I'm Argument Traffic Control, making sure everyone gets their say and that any confusions are addressed, at least as we can address them.  And the fact is, it's service to my fellow citizens, pure and simple.  I'm getting a small stipend for doing this, but nothing major.  It will give me a nice little check come late September/early October, right when I'll need it too.  I see that Gaia/Sol is watching out for me. 

My momentary insecurity led me down a somewhat sad path.  I'm someone who can wear this Superman T with confidence and grace.  But for a couple of moments there I was Mr. Unsure, not because of anything specific other than my general low self-regard.  It's a tonic for me to wear this t-shirt, especially when I own it as true to my soul and spirit.  It can be an ego trip to wear it, but sometimes it's about recognizing some truths about myself.  It's in that spirit that I wear this shirt this evening.