Getting back into the Swing

I had a really wonderful vacation. It's been a challenge to get back into the New York groove, and I must say I don't seem to resonate with the energies here. While I have issues with the 9-5 corporate mindset that is in force everywhere, I did feel that both Madison and Minnesota had more of what I need for myself.

I do have a lot to say, but I don't really know where to begin with it all. It's been difficult for me on several levels, not least of which to come back into the world of blogging. Writing is an aspect of my path through life, but it's not quite what I thought it was back when I was eating. I lived for my writing back then. Today, I have come into a bit of a shock where my passions are concerned.

At the Winter Witch Camp, I worked with a meditative tool called The Iron Pentacle. There's a lot of personal information that can be gleaned from working with the I.P., and on the first go-around, I got to my point of passion (my left foot), and it was all foggy. I saw a sword sticking out of the fog, and I had the sense it was a sword of clarity and healing, as in the Ace of Swords. In the Cosmic Tribe Tarot, the 7 of Swords (interference) shows a clear sword being fogged up by 6 niggly, wimpy sword-like emanations. I was thinking it was more this sword that was being activated, reminding me to focus on my passion. The next day, the fog had cleared, but I was left with a point of passion that was in a cast, and negative messages were scrawled all over it. Messages like "You suck, no one's ever going to read your plays;" "you're such a loser who can't write commercially to save your ass;" "gay men deserve the violence that's done them;" and so on. I wrote all of those messages on little pieces of paper and burned them in my best friend's fireplace as an energetic way to sandblast those messages off my healing cast. And I've replaced them with more encouraging and healing ideas.

So now I'm working with the IP, the Ha Prayer and a 2o-minute meditation when I get up. All totaled it's taking me about 4o minutes once I eat breakfast, to even be ready to face getting dressed. There's so much I want to do now. Two of the aspects of Freyja that I am working with is the attention to beauty and the need to give of myself in joyous obligation. Both of these are translating into my decision to get a storage locker and to put a whole bunch of my possessions there and to give myself more space. I've been boxing up books and will continue to do so as I give myself more space to creat the life I'm cut out for. And it's coming, I can feel it.

I get confirmations from the oddest of sources, too. I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, even though I feel bored half the time. I trust that this is all leading somewhere, and that I have a lot more to say about what I just went through on vacation and since. I don't have to put it all down right now, though. One blog entry at a time.