Food Thoughts #1

Chinese dietary theory holds that each food we eat is one of five "elements"--fire, metal, earth, wood or water. Tonight for "nunch" I had a meal that was only imbalanced re: water. The fire foods were salsa, brussels sprouts, and red lentils. The metal food was cauliflower. Earth included the banana, carrots and turnips and Wood included millet, butter and cashews. If I drank decaf coffee that would be counted as water, though perhaps dandelion root tea would count as water. (I have since switched from regular (fire) to decaf (water).) When I choose to have a cup of blueberries/pineapple for dinner, then I'd have water in the blueberries. I'll probably do this tomorrow, since it's best to have some representation from all five elements. I would imagine that if I were to have a fire-less meal, I'd be a bit sluggish; without earth I'd feel light-headed, without metal spineless, and without wood brittle. Without water, I guess I'm a little out-of-touch with my emotions.

Tonight I'll have tuna, turkey and cheese for protein, rice cakes for grain, various greens and veggies for a salad, and some avocado squash as well, cashews, ranch dressing, and butter, blueberries and pineapple, and sugarfree berry jello. So I'll have in the fire category, tomatoes, red onion, red pepper and scallions and maybe arugula (can't remember if that's fire or water) while metal includes the rice cakes and wood the cashews and I believe the tuna, cheese, butter, dressing and perhaps the purslane(?). Water will take the blueberries, the jello and mushrooms, and lastly earth the carrots and avocado squash. I forget whether it's earth or wood that includes turkey (by process of elimination). All in all, a fairly balanced meal.

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The other day I had some pork chops and my body rejoiced! It luxuriated in something that the pork meat offered. I have no idea what, but I do notice it when the cells of my body seem to glow with joyous abandon. This has happened to me on several occasions, now that I've cleared my system of refined white powders.

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I'm still an addict, no matter what. Yesterday as I was getting my stuff ready for my "brinner" meal, I spied someone else's "frosted celebration-matter." Immediately upon seeing it, I remembered its taste and imagined it in my mouth. It was instantaneous, there was no controlling the initial impulse. I had no desire to steal it and devour it, but I did remember that longing after the nutrition-deficient substances I once knew. A part of me felt enraged I couldn't have a piece of celebration-matter. But I continued on with making my nutritious meal. Someone came in and smelled the arugula and asked what it was, because it smelled so good, even though he was also talking with a co-worker about "those yummy raspberry cookies." Still, asking after arugula is as it should be, is it not?

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The addict in me isn't wrong, he's irrational. He wants to have as much sugar as he can stand without any consequences. But when my body comes into an internal contact with sugar and flour, there can only be negative ramifications. I don't always feel I'm enough with abstinent food, but without the refrain from the white powders, the frequency of feeling OK with the world would go down, my weight would go up, I'd have a never-ending feeling that I wasn't getting enough nourishment and really nourishing foods would seem unexciting and dull. I remember after getting off sugar the joy I felt at having a cup of butternut squash! Oh my word! It was the best sensation in the world and it was abstinent! During my fat years, squash held no allure, little appeal. It was best seen as something to endure on the way to dessert. But today it holds its own loveliness. I'd lose that too with a hit of sugar, the "positive" effects of which would only last for five minutes or so. The addict doesn't want to believe that the body he inhabits is this way. He wants to believe that he's just like other people when he plainly is only like others who are inhabiting hypersensitive bodies like he is. The addict isn't a figure for me to hate, but one for me to love and cherish. He's not evil, he's just crazy.