10 Swords Star Goddess Goat

I did a tarot reading on an online website about my passions and seeking a balance in my life. The counseling I received was pretty amazing, but basically the thrust of it was "Do your job; focus on doing it well." Last night I was inspired to at least try to do my job as a writer, and I showed up to the page, but I didn't get anywhere.

I will say that using the "money shot" metaphor of narrative thrust is a useful tool for certain kinds of writing. It's just that it's addictive and over time the bang from that buck gets less and less, and I find I would rather find something that is more sustaining.

My thought right now is to turn to a Tamara sort of experiment, perhaps where there are a couple of characters who have that explosive money-shot dynamic. I'm thinking one of the characters may just have to be Hamlet Etapucci IV or some ridiculous name like that, the gangster-tragic-hero wit da Joizy akzen'. But there would be 6 to 8 other characters all of whom would be the protagonist of their own plays, and I could leave it to the individual audience members with their maps of addictions to decide who they wish to follow. I wouldn't be surprised to discover that most, given what the characters would be, would probably go after Hamlet Ettapucci IV or Starletta Enbittermentus, our fancy-ass celebrinazi.

See, I see I have all this violence inside me, all this rage, and I need to get it out of me and sculpt it into something that can be useful. This stuff is inside me, and it's been lodged there deep. I need out it to pull, and it takes some effort and a careful attentiveness to how I draw the toxins out.

Trees help.