Priestess Drychtyn (Star Goddess) Beaver - Pattern

I have noticed that when I ask questions about what I sense as "TSHTF" and "TEOTWAWKI" (The Shit Hitting the Fan & The End of the World As We Know It, respectively), that I keep being told just look and perceive what is around you. "You will see the answer."

I don't do my gratitude lists often enough, but more often than not in the past few weeks, I've been feeling happier than un, serene r/t agitated, excited about life r/t moping around keening for death.

Oh, I still am constantly thinking about death--I think my sensitivities are too fine for me not to be attuned to all the death around us all. If I was in the sugar and flour, I wouldn't be feeling all of that so much. I also sense that when I read "news stories" about these stupid actions people take out of a compulsion to hate and stoke fear and rage, that I'm saying a lot to computer screens and in my imagination "Let me repeat back to you what I hear you saying. You're saying 'SPRAWK SPRAWK SPRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWKKKK!!' Does that pretty much sum up your views on [fill-in-the-blank]? Believe it or not, I'm not trying to make fun of you, but there are just certain concepts like hate and such that aren't a part of my lexicon, and I hear this kind of Bill-the-cat thing that you're doing energetically."

I am almost done with Curtis White's The Spirit of Disobedience and I see that I do sort of need to "misbehave", at least in the sense of becoming a one-man Boston Tea party. And to create beauty.

I love his take on Brokeback Mountain, and I need to write him a mash-note about both this book and Middle Mind, tell him also about my favoritest film of all time, Big Eden, which was just on Logo last night!

I think I have a lot more on which to blog, but what I started to write about was the stuff going on all around us. My guides and the oracles I cast all seem to point to my staying put and emanating whatever it is I need to emanate in these times o' opportunity and crisis. Somehow my destiny is tied in with those of the people in this Upper Hudson Valley. I feel an invigorating connection to the land, whether here or in Troy or almost anywhere else around here. (Latham, Colonie and parts of Albany do seem to be under a soulless pall right now, at least around the big-box stores, strip malls and larger malls. My addict-self is drawn to them and I cry, Oh, How I cry...)

As much as others are screaming "Sal si puedes", I somehow need to trust that I am right where I need to be, and that the Goddesses and the Gods, God Herself will provide...

Scary as that is.