5 Wands Hermes Goat - Dream, finances

This morning, I woke up angry. I'd had a dream where I was trying to establish a new restaurant in New York City. I had a notion of setting it up somewhere on First Avenue between 6th and 12th Streets. I wanted to do it all by myself, however. It was a dream, so the "reality" of that is not the same as the waking world o' Maya. But still. I mean--really! I was going to set this up without having to hire anyone to cook, serve, clean dishes etc.? My dream self was deflecting these questions for some reason, knowing they were indeed legitimate, but unable to square these issues with the finances behind it.

Which for some reason got me thinking about the cunteous student loan debt I'm being Citigrouped by. "Citigrouped"="gouged"="fleeced"="decunted"="sucked-dry"="vampirized" etc. I swear, I looked at the cunteous missive I got in the mail from Student Loan Cuntoration and I saw the balance of the loan at a certain number, and I keep expecting it to go under another certain number. It seems to me it should have gotten there by now, but of cunt-course it hasn't.

I've paid about $40,000 thus far. There's something really WRONG with this picture. What are these vampires doing? Part of it is that I've been in a fog, and the cunts have been of course taking advantage of this.

So I guess this is a part of my awakening process. It's one of my 2007 Intentions (I don't use the word "resolutions" because it's really inadequate to the task) to significantly reduce my debt. It's also an intention to significantly up my income. I'm not sure what the best answer is to all of this, but I need to put it into the metaverse, the multiverse, turn it over to the Gods and Goddesses, and creature guides, that I dance free and clear of debt.

It has already come to pass that I'm free of debt. That is the magickal working I create at this time.

Hermes and Goat are my energies of this 10 Ik day. It's interesting that 10 is a number of manifestation and Ik is the wind. In my spectrum of deities and guides, I link Hermes to North (though at one point he was my East god, both directions being possibly linked to air, though I think of North as Earth and East as Air), and I link the Goat to the 2nd Chakra. Both rather earthy energies, really, though the 2nd chakra has elements of water and fire as well. Hermes revealed to me another dimension's ties to the issue of My Debting. I saw all these vaporous scaries, these darkling demons scampering about, until I let my eyes shine light on them, and they all became like dust bunnies. It was fascinating to witness this, and see that my anger, my resentments and shame and embarassment over this situation are phantasms. What is up to me is to use the tools of joyous obligation and gratitude to dig myself out of this unwanted situation.

And so I need to say that I'm grateful for the opportunity I received back in the years 1993-95 to have gone to graduate school, and to have learned more about the craft of writing dramatic scripts. It is my joyous obligation to pay for that, even if I have not been the most responsible about it and that I have been oblivious as to my omissions and deferrals. I have added to my burden through my lack of awareness and now it's time to say "enough." I am grateful that these are my lessons, and I pray that the blessings make themselves known to me, even as I feel all these phantasmic feelings and release them from the bondage to the false self. I will no longer immolate myself on a pyre of abasement.