The last ten days or so, I've been thinking about the notions of anomie and malaise. Each day I leave my house and from about 8 in the morning until 6 at night I enter into a mental fog. For quite awhile I have struggled with this phenomenon. 12 Step work tells me I need to accept the situation once I become aware of it, even if it's not something I would particularly like or approve of. To be able to find the ways to act upon the situation, I must first accept it as it is.
Well, I'm struggling to accept this malaise that accompanies my mandated participation in this decrepitude surrounding us all. "Mandated" by "authorities" (aka cunts) who arrogate "authority" to themselves and impose a "consensus" upon me and upon you, wylion. ["whether you like it or not."]
I accept the cunts, the addicts, the vampires, without accepting their "authority." It's partly why I invoke different deities each day. They help me to get through it all, and now I'm starting to enter into a new phase of my creativity I find pretty damn wonderful, if I do say so myself. I've decided to revise a play I wrote, and I'm going to submit it, a very short "intensity" I wrote several years ago, and a brand spanking new "Post-American Teaching Play" I call Hiawatha Creek Exorcism to a local play festival. (Once I revise it to my liking--I need to expand it threefold.)
I joyfully accept these lessons (and interestingly enough, the Salamander of today aligning with the Storm from the Mayan tzolkin calendar suggests accepting my lessons as blessings and my enemies as angels) and to cheerfully embrace my obligations to slog through it all.
Truth be told, I feel better already! Thanks Bill W. and Dr. Bob!
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